Saturday, was speaking to JL over the weekend, and we chanced upon this conversation of a fren in Houston back last year. She got married recently and we were looking at her wedding photos online...
I was kinda saying like we could have been together, if not for my indecisiveness back then and shit...
J: "hey she said she really liked u u know..."
me: "really ? Why didnt u say so earlier ?"
J: "she told me when I was half drunk la... only remembered it now that u mention this..."
J: "U should have gone for it man..."
me: "U know I am forever going to blame u then... hahaha"
^^
You know that kinda feeling ? It's like you were doing something right but somehow things didnt end up where it should be ... Dont get me wrong; I dont feel sore at all, on the contrary, I am very happy that she has found her true love, and I wish nothing but the best for her blissful marriage...
The only thing that got me thinking is that I was really indecisive back then. She probably didnt show that much of an interest as I could recall, but I could be wrong... as I was busy moving around in USA instead of staying put in Houston... so it was probably a main factor that we drifted apart.
Meanwhile, I wrote our fren an email to send my warmest congratulations and asked how she is, and I am glad that I did that - lover or not, she is definitely still a good fren !
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Well, there is no point in looking at the past in remorse of some sort; I enjoyed the Houston stint, and I never regreted my decisions whatever they were. Looking forward, I think I needa be more decisive and just say it as I feel... I tend to bottle too many things down my gut that this kinda situations resulted pretty frequently.
I am someone who needs the other party to "make" a commitment of some sort first before I made mine... and it could any sorts like making an obvious gesture(s) to declaring ... hahaha
Jokes aside... I am insecure by nature; and I fear the feeling of losing someone... but rightfully I shouldnt be - becos I am surrounded by great family, good frens and wonderful pple ! So, I want to chuck away the insecure part of me while maintaining my bright self - the one and only YC... hahaha
=)
For the Gang:
I found someone who has potential eh... tell u guys next time we meet yeah... we'll see where it leads to...
Btw.. I am not as lupsup as u guys say ok... and I know u guys know that... love y'all !!! hahaha